Appreciate the obvious

A problem I faced in the last few months; I was terrified of wasting time. Something I always try to do is make the most of the time I have and force myself into things because I know I'll regret it if I don't try.

This always gave me an equal balance of  'me' time as well as social time by doing so. I never wanted to make more friends or get into a relationship, I was fine with my balance that made sure I had a bit of everything I needed and wanted basically.

Last week I was diagnosed as someone with severe depression and "critical" anxiety, and it made sense too. It got me out of my panicky bad place in my head that I had been in since June and remember who I was. I was able to separate emotion from logic once again thank god.

One of the biggest fears I'd developed was a fear of wasting time if I didn't play games with my partner. That everything would end soon and I had to make the most of it. It had become a dependency I didn't want in my life at all.

Now though, I have come to conclude that the time I spend with my boyfriend is to be cherished as it happens. Not worry about how little time we have and that we can't waste any of it. I am very grateful that I have managed to achieve a healthier balance of spending time with him, and having my own time to balance everything else. :)

Sleep is becoming a good friend

Today I looked forward to going to bed.  I knew where things stood and that was a good place to be.  Everything was ok or better and those that weren't so good in my life,  well they were to be tackled during the day and not when I'm about to go to sleep.

I know I'll wake up to a new day of opportunity and unknowing to what I may experience from what I expect, and I'll keep fine tuning what I want to keep in my life,  as it is my own.

Sleep means I can recharge and feel refreshed too.  A lovely feeling in itself.  I hope it stays this way so I can add it to my repertoire of growing strengths.